Welcome to my second blog!
Yes, you read the title correctly. I was once a stripper. I danced naked for men, grinding on their laps and making their fantasies come true. You may ask ‘ But why? WHY would you do such a degrading job?’ This is a good question and I completely understand where it’s coming from.
All work in the sex industry is both taboo and looked down upon, especially if you’re a woman. We’re shamed from a young age and taught that sex is something to be embarrassed about. All we’re taught in school is the pure basics. In fact, I only ever remember having one sex ed class, in which we were taught how to not get pregnant. We were never taught about pleasure, and I’m pretty sure that I only learnt what orgasm meant through the discovery of porn!
Us women are called sluts if we do anything remotely sexual, yet our male counterparts are applauded when they sleep with girls. I’ve never met a male stripper but I’ll bet you any money they don’t get the same amount of abuse as a female stripper. So, in answer to that question, my first reason for taking such risque employment was because I wanted to rebel.
The second reason that really sealed the deal was of course the economic benefits 😉 . If you read my first blog, you’ll know that I really don’t want a 9-5, dead end job, working my feet off for barely any money, which is all I’m going to get at the minute, being just 18 with no experience, and I really do value my time over money. I don’t believe that an hour of my life is worth just £5.90. A whole hour that I will never get back. That I could have used doing something I love, with people I love, but instead I’m making money for the men at the top. So, after feeling angry and frustrated one night after coming home from my job waitressing in a hotel with a bell*** chef who thought it was OK to shout at us and call us retarded if we messed up an order while only talking to our boobs (now, he made me feel degraded), I decided to do a quick search on google. ‘How to make money with minimum effort’ is what I searched and after a fair bit of scrolling, I came across an article of a woman explaining how she could make £1000 a night by simply taking off her clothes (I now realise that there’s a lot more to it than that) and of course this intrigued me. I did my research and after about two weeks of heavy consideration, I emailed a few gentleman’s clubs in the city nearest to me. They pretty much all replied with the same thing, ‘turn up with ID, lingerie and heels and we’ll give you a quick interview before pairing you with a more experienced dancer if we see fit’.
Fast forward a day or two and I’m literally quaking in my heels outside this club with two burly looking security guards asking me what I wanted. I told them why I was there and then waited for the manager to come and collect me. I was led up about 10,000, really steep steps to the club and I’m not going to lie, I was a little taken a back when I first got in there. I mean, I was no prude and I’d seen tonnes of naked women before (on a screen). It was just different seeing so many stunning women in 6 inch heels with barely any clothes, striding around, drinks in hand, seductively chatting up men. It was like something out of a movie and honestly, It gave me a buzz. There were tall women, small women, curvy women, skinny women, black women, white women, double D women, flat chested women… I could go on. It was wonderful and I was excited that I’d soon be one of them.
As promised, after signing many, many papers that I, stupidly, didn’t bother to read, and getting changed into my brand new Primark lingerie and battered old black heels, I was introduced to a woman that can only be described as a ‘Brandi love’ lookalike. She was stunning, clearly experienced and also in a bit of a rush to get back out on the floor. It was a busy night and she understandably wanted to be making money rather than showing the new girl around. She was friendly though and got me a drink before introducing me to the other girls. She talked me through the price list; 20 for a 3 minute nude dance, 50 for 9 minutes, 100 for 20 minutes, 150 for 30 minutes in VIP and 300 for an hour in VIP. I was ecstatic! £20 for 3 minutes! What??? It would take me about four hours to get that in my waitressing job. I’ll never need to work again, I thought. I might as well just quit college now!
She showed me how to give a lap dance by giving me one in a free booth and then took me out onto the floor. She told me to play on the fact that it was my first night because men liked that apparently. She wondered off to a man that had just been seated, leaving me standing awkwardly, not really having a clue what to do. I looked around like a toddler on their first day at nursery and saw another girl also standing, watching everyone do their thing. The only difference, was that she looked like a lion observing her prey, figuring out which one she should pounce on. I shuffled over to her and introduced myself. I explained that it was my first night and I had no clue what to do. She told me to just approach someone with a smile. Ask if I can sit next to them and start a conversation. Keep it light and friendly. Sense whether they are into you or not and after about 5 minutes, slip the ‘So, we should go for a dance’ line in and see what he says. Don’t waste too much time on one customer because time is money and some men will try to take advantage. I told her I appreciated it, took a glug of my wine and did just what she told me.
My first night flew by. I left the club at 6am feeling tired but amazing. I had £500 in my pocket after the house fee of £160. I had never had so much money at one time and all I could think about was going again to make more money. It was completely empowering. I felt so independent and badass. The men weren’t even allowed to touch me and had to sit with their hands by their sides so I felt in complete control. One grab of the bum and they were warned off by the security guards. Any more than that, and they were kicked out.
I had assumed that every man would be old and pervy but I was surprised at the amount of young guys that came in and I didn’t feel repulsed or anything when I really wasn’t attracted to a man as I purely looked at it like it was as a business transaction, hustling my way through the night to earn as much as possible. It started to become a game; how much can I get in 30 minutes, how much can I get from this man etc. It was fun. Also, being complimented 50 times in a night, whether truthful or not, really does something to your ego, I won’t lie.
So you’re probably wondering ‘why, if it was such an amazing job, did you stop doing it?’ Well, after just under 3 months I had saved quite a bit of money, as you can imagine, but after that first night, I wasn’t making any where near the same amount of money. I guess, on that first night I had gotten lucky because the rugby was on so it was busy and on top of that, it was my first time dancing so all the men wanted a dance with the new girl. I quickly came to realise that the other girls were making nearly double of what I was making and that was because of what they did in the VIP rooms. I wasn’t prepared to do extras. I was also getting bored with the same old routine and found it extremely tiring dancing all night in 5 inch heels. Although most guys were absolutely lovely, there were always the ass*****. The ones that thought that they could talk to me like crap and take advantage because of what I did, so some nights I went home feeling a bit deflated and used. The job had lost its sparkle so decided to stop while I was ahead. I realise now that I’m just someone that needs new adventures often or else I get bored and boredom kills (some might just call me a serial quitter).
So, overall I’m happy with my little stripping experience and I might even go back to stripping some time in the future, it depends how I feel.
I really hope that this article may have opened your mind a little and slightly changed your perception of sex workers. We’re not all addicted to drugs or owned by pimps and it’s not all dark and dangerous. (Although I’m not denying that some women may turn to this line of work in desperation and I really do wish the best for them. I also wouldn’t recommend becoming a stripper unless you’re in the right frame of mind and are doing it for the right reasons because it can be tough and it can come with risks, like stalking.)
At the minute, I live at home so I’m just using the money I earned from those few months rather than getting a another job, and that suits me just fine. Right now, I can just focus on doing things I love and my college work rather than slaving away to earn money.
I feel like I’ve missed out a lot in my stripping story, so feel free to ask me any questions that I haven’t talked about and I’ll be happy to answer.
Anyway, like my last blog, I need to go and get something to eat but I don’t know how to end the blog properly so I think I’ll just stop mid senten